"The Beard" by I. M. Shannon

In my job as theological librarian, I came across a pamphlet in the archives of our library

Cover of the the pamphlet "The Beard" by I. M. Shannon (undated).

Allow me to quote at length from the pamphlet (I've tried to be faithful to the spelling and punctuation of the original):

       These facts I have written regarding the beard have for their foundation the Bible, and nature, and are especially written for the Christian man who truly wishes to gain eternal life...
      Shaving is very popular, but does the popularity of shaving make it the right thing to do? JESUS, whom you worship, and who is the Christian man’s example wore His beard. (Isa. 50:6) and He is well pleased when His men followers imitate Him in this as in other respects. Obeying Him in practice and precept. 1 John 2:6. The beard grows by a divine law; it is a part of creation that God pronounced “very good.” Gen. 1:27. When men destroy the beard they are out of harmony with God’s original thought... There is a great intelligence and wisdom behind the laws of nature, and when these laws are broken, those who break them will stand a punishment sooner, or later...
        A good question is raised: Why should God put a beard on a man’s face if He did not design that he should wear it? We cannot charge God with folly, a deficiency of understanding, and that the beard was a stupid mistake on His part. Men directly insult the wisdom and intelligence of God when they shave off their beards. Isa. 29:-6; Eccl. 7:29. A razor is an invention to thwart God in nature. Men have becomes slaves to the razor, for no reason, as a rule, except to make their faces smooth like the woman’s, or follow the worldly fashion. They will say it is for sanitary reasons. In saying this they practically accuse their Saviour of being unsanitary, for he wore His beard, so did the apostles, prophets, patriarchs, also our pioneer brethren in the Churches. Wholesale destruction of the beard is of recent date. To shave is an open violation of the laws of nature. It is God’s wisdom and design that a man wear a full, well-kept beard. It is the outward mark of manhood. To be smooth-faced is a sign of YOUTH, or EFFEMINACY.
       It is not the plan of God for a man to de-whisker himself, shaving away his distinguishing feature, calling it unsightly and unsanitary. It isn’t the intelligent thing to do. There is nothing that man can do to make himself appear more womanish than to shave off his beard. The dictionary says: “to be beardless is less than a man.”
       Men shave daily, but God in nature rushes to repair the wound, and starts a new growth, showing that the beard should be a permanent fixture on the face of man. The beard is a beautiful arrangement, a princely feature. IF taken care of. Men have long abused the beard, and that fact shows up when they try to wear one. Many men can hardly wear it after having shaved for so many years. It is stiff and bristly. Those who have made this a study know it is true. It is unatural to shave, a daily operation to remove it. If the same amount of time were devoted to its care, as it takes to remove it, it would be beautiful, and not hideous as some seem to think. He who effeminates himself follows the example of apostacy instead of Christ. Be Christlike. Honor His beard by wearing one...

That’s most of pages 3 to 6. He then goes on for 8 more pages to make further arguments based on the image-of-God, comparing shaving to the sins of Eve and Esau, explaining away why “Joseph of Bible fame” shaved (“JESUS, not Joseph, or any other man is man’s example”), differentiating shaving from the sin of cutting finger and toe nails (?!), placing shaving within the saved by faith/works argument, and clarifying that the effeminate will not enter the Kingdom of God. On page 14 his conclusion begins:

       To establish the truth of the beard we have THREE witnesses: NATURE, JESUS’S EXAMPLE (Isa. 50:6), and the LAW. Lev. 19:27, 28. The FACT stands established. 
       Jesus said, “The very hairs on your head our numbered.” Matt. 10:30. King David said “I will praise the Lord, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are thy works, and that my soul knoweth right well…and in Thy BOOK all my members are written.” David we see praised and upheld God’s works. The beard, if let grow, is the most conspicuous member that a man has. I wonder what it will be when men meet their Maker “face to face.”

Upon first reading I found this really funny. I almost have to wonder if it was actually written as a parody of bad interpretation. But since I suspect it wasn't, it’s actually rather sad, for it represents all those instances in which we manipulate the sacred texts in support of teachings which are not in fact truthful. We are wise to approach the truth of Scriptures with great humility. Daniel Taylor warns in The Myth of Certainty: “How one holds a truth, one’s intention in regard to truth, the use to which a truth is put, the position against which a truth is asserted, the relationship between one truth and an equally valid balancing truth—all these and more determine the ultimate character of truth in our lives. Sadly, even truth can be made to function as falsehood when it is fragmented, distorted, or isolated from its position to the whole.” (129)